mom said, “you should be apologizing for what you’ve got. why is your behavior like that?
son replied, “is it a crime that my grade is a _ ?”
Students constantly are chained with stress. Not only do they receive it from their parents, but also they receive it from a variety of sources ranging from academics to school life. What they wish is just a time when the stress is all disappeared. The constant peer pressure, college preparations, parent’s criticisms cannot be all handled by a single kid alone.
I acknowledge that going to the real world is “harsh”. It’s a brutal area. Morality is ignored, and it’s all about competition. But, is it that harder than the youth years? When a person makes a mistake in society, they are not condemned for it. They just have to suffer the consequences whether it is external, internal, or both. But a mistake a student makes is always bound to both pathways: external and internal.
THEREFORE, a question that I impose is this: Is it a crime to not meet parent’s standards?
Now, let me show you my analysis of the question. Today, I’ve received criticism about receiving a score of an average B in one of my AP courses. Just as a disclaimer, my parents are Asian and they really take academics serious than that of other parents (well maybe not, it’s just my stereotype and other parents of different races might be worse). They told me “literally” that it is my fault for not getting the grade. Acknowledging the fault internally, I understand that I’ve caused the grade to become a B. But the one word that hit me was “apologize”. That made me wonder, what am I to apologize about?
Maybe things might be different if students went to a public school (I’ve only went to a public school for some time, a long time ago; so things might be different and standpoints might be different), but some students that go to private schools might feel guilty about this issue. Tuition fees are a big burden to parents, and to me I feel sorry in some aspects about that. But education-wise what is there to apologize? What is there to apologize to the parents by the kid about education, learning, and academics? Is it a crime to not meet a person’s standards? If we re-consider the criticism lashed by my parents, if it’s a crime to not keep up the standards that my parents have, does that mean is it not worthy to live if we cannot match other’s standards because others won’t be able to comprehend some faults like our intimate family members. The subject is in our own learning. It is not their brain that is growing. It’s not we’re feeding their knowledge. Information comes into our brain, that means we filter what we learn. We feed our own brain capacities, not our parents. So is it truly a crime to not meet their standards?
It’s not a crime to receive a low grade on a subject. It is not a crime to meet your parent’s standards. Sometimes, things can happen and a person might not be able to match the others’ expectations. But that is not a crime that, that person should be apologizing for. Making apologies are done when you have harmed the person directly, not implicitly. Did I call my parents stupid? Did my grades say they deserve criticism for their parenting? NO. That never happened. When actions are caused explicitly, and a person has physically or verbally attacked or harmed his disposition in both the physical and mental world: YOU are to be blamed and it is a crime. You must say sorry. But not meeting one’s expectations and standards are not to be “apologized” for. I mean saying sorry once is enough, but when it’s constantly repeated–the situation doesn’t make sense. I believe a person should not be sorry for not keeping to one’s expectations, especially academic ones. I’m the one should be sorry and angry at myself for not keeping up with the expectations I had. Learning is my own private property, not others. They don’t teach it for me. They don’t absorb it for me. If the grade I got was for their benefits and it damaged their status in society, then I should be the one saying sorries. But, this is for me. The education is for me. I don’t believe one has to apologize about their own life to others.
SO, what do you guys think? Do you think it’s a crime to not meet people’s/friend’s/parent’s expectations about your own life? I’m open to your opinions, and hope you guys could give a comment on it! Wow, blog posting, after doing it two days in a row, is quite a bliss :)! HOPE I get some feedback!